I don't believe in love. Well, not the everyday conception of love anyway.
Everybody is in pursuit of "love", but that's not what they really want. Why? Because real love is everywhere. Love is just an emotional attachment to something. There's nothing mysterious about that. Love is just a feeling and I believe it's a feeling you'll share with many people in your life.
I can say this because I've fallen in love before but I'm not certain I've ever fallen out. Do you think it's possible to un-love somebody? I'm not sure but I do know that love isn't what tore my relationships apart. It was just plain ol' compatibility. I think everybody just needs to come to the realization that sometimes, love just doesn't cut it. You can make romantic cliches about loving every molecule or every invisible gram of somebody's soul but love isn't what keeps people together. Love is just a feeling. I've learned that is possible to care deeply about somebody but still not get along with them and I'm certain that there's people who can relate.
Passion is overrated. Every woman melts at the idea of being taken into the arms of a passionate man but what is passion but forceful love? Being passionate is a feeling and feelings mean nothing. A feeling is not a pass-time. A feeling is not a moral value. A feeling is not an opinion. A feeling can't tell jokes. A feeling won't accompany you to the ballet. A feeling is just a feeling. In the end, the only thing that can keep two people together is how they get along, not how they they feel about each other. Feelings may grow sour when you find out you don't get along but not the other way around.
So what does all this mean? It means we need to learn to be truthful to ourselves. We're not searching for 'love', none of us are. Most of you have already found it and threw it back. Who cares about love? We're just searching for the right person for us. The realization then, is that the person you end up with might not be the one who loves you most but just the person you can stand to be with the most.
More Proof?
Love should be an independent feeling but it's not. We associate it with how we get along. We demean love that is unrequited, like it is of lesser quality, but who is to say it isn't real?
Take a look at the different situations below:
Love + Love = True love
Love + Growing Love = Romantic/Puppy Love
Love + No Love = Unrequited Love
Love + Never Love = Insane Love
Is love only validated if it is returned?
Conclusion:
Love is a lie. It's not a magical, selfless thing. Love is selfish because the love we're searching for is for ourselves. We not only want to be loved, we want to be loved the way we want to be loved.
Today's Track:
Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
1 comments:
I believe that if you love someone, you cannot "unlove" the person. If you do, then it was never love in the first place, which is why I think love is a little bit more than emotional attachment.
I also think that love is different for everyone. This is my theory: There's a fundamental and universal human part about love, which is that you care for someone very strongly and that care never goes away.
On the other hand, can love solve all problems in a relationship depends on the people in the relationship. Some people can be at one end of the spectrum, where they are willing to do anything in order to be together, unselfishly. And if you have two people on that same side of the spectrum in love, they are compatible and love solves all. And then there's the other side of the spectrum, where everything else comes before love and that they can care strongly about someone but if there's something that intrudes on the relationship, such as compatibility or career, then love does not solve all for that person.
However, another variable on this spectrum is compatibility. I think when two people are compatible, they, together, move a few steps closer toward the spectrum side of "is willing to do anything" side from where they started as an individual. If they started out as an extreme, "love is not the food and soul of my love" side, they will never be really close to the "will do anything" side. But, y'know, they get closer.
That's just my theory :P
Post a Comment